Free Enterprise gone mad?

I am a big rancher in Texas with thousands of head of cattle and big contracts with global food corporations such as Walmart. You, on the other hand, are a small family farmer with less than 20 head of cattle. Your water supply runs through my land first, therefore I have the right to either (a) dam up the water to drive you out of business or (b) poison the water at the edge of my property to kill your cattle. We live in the age of Free Enterprise and Capitalism, so that makes it my right.

I am the largest employer in a right-to-work state. Along with other such corporations in other states I have paid millions of dollars to members of Congress to eliminate the minimum wage. Now I have just announced to all my employees, as have the other corporations in other states, that we will only pay you $1 per hour. Take it or starve. After all, this is the American Way of Free Enterprise.



As the world's largest big box retailer, I now control the food supply in your country. No one can profitably sell food unless it comes through me and the stores I control. I have just reached a very profitable deal with my suppliers where we have cut the contents of food packages in half and have doubled the old price you paid for twice the content. Wouldn't you agree, as a conservative, that it is my right to do so?

Now let's repeat the same scenario with water, gas and heating fuel, electricity, health insurance and medical care, food inspection and every aspect of your life - everything you buy or sell. Either you do it through me or you do without.

My corporations have bought the rights to all timber, all water sources, all hospitals and insurance companies, the oil companies and electric generating companies. I and a handful of other global corporations now control everything.

Your government can't help you because it is nothing but a puppet and we pull the strings by making unlimited political contributions (with the blessings of your Supreme Court) to make sure no one but those politicians in our pocket get elected. We control both parties, the courts, the state, county and local governments. We even control your national Tea Party, which we set up on a national scale as a for-profit corporation so, in the good old American tradition, we can become as wealthy as we choose.

We are the 1% - you are the 99% worthless eaters and slaves on the New World Order plantation. Isn't Free Enterprise great? I just love unbridled Capitalism. Of course, it used to be called Facism in World War II under Hitler and Mussolini - but we don't use those politically incorrect terms anymore.

Ain't life grand? And to think you voted for it. Suckers!